Am I too competitive?

Yesterday in the bathroom at work I had entered to do the #2 of two things most commonly done in a bathroom. There are four toilet stalls in this particular bathroom design. For purposes of clarity we could call the stalls A, B, C, and D moving from left to right, if you were facing the stalls and trying to pick a throne location. Stall A is a 'handicap' stall, with spacious room and amenities like a stabilizer rail, while B through D are your standard class toilet stalls. (As an aside, I have no problem 'treating' myself to the first class comforts of the 'handicap' stall when I go to the restroom and need to 'rest'-- as often times the pains and urgency of the moment literally handicap me for several minutes. For those few minutes, I am indeed handicapped.)

Well, as it goes, stalls B and D were occupied with legs that I could see, and odors that I couldn't see (thankfully - but it was close). I chose the first class cabin, stall A, and sat down to do my thing.

For most of my life I have had very good movement with my movements - on time (they occur when I expect them to occur), and purposeful (they don't loaf around, so to speak). In short, they clearly do what I expect them to do when I want them to do it. While there are times when they are too anxious, most of the time things are controlled and go very quickly and well. Yesterday was no exception. My movement made its move expeditiously. I efficiently and neatly cleaned up (I'm a folder, not a wadder - and for those of you who need to hear the virtues of being a folder I can certainly extol these virtues-- you control the dimensions and thickness of all parts of the paper and minimize risk of serious 'creamy nightmare occurrance'; you are much better prepared to economize when you find yourself 'short of sheet'; wadders are 8 times more likely too 'over guess' and over build, and cause toilet cloggage-- as compared to the well thought out, measured creation of the folder. And last but not least, folders are more eco friendly. I'm confident I've used truckloads less paper in my lifetime than a typical wadder).

As I left the comforts of the first class cabin, the gents in stalls B and D were still involved with whatever they were involved with. It was clear that I was completely done and also clear that I had started my event at a later point than they did. I could not resist the urge, which I have thought about from time to time, to make a clear comment to their embarrassment, or at least belittlment "You guys need to eat more FIBER!!! -- I totall LAPPED you guys!!!" I said with pride and confidence and a chuckle as I washed my hands. I knew they were no match for me.

I later learned that one of the guys I lapped was a friend of mine (you can't tell from pant legs bunched down over shoes, smells of completely used food, and various fleshy air compression based noises (generally) who people are. It would be a pure stroke of good fortune for me to have called out randomly "Hey Kev, is that you?" not having seen Kevin go into the bathroom for certain- not to mention it breaks the bathroom stall male etiquite general standards, which is understood to be 'silence while BMing' and friendly visits while 'weeing') While I still sort of broke the rule for talking while they were still engaged, it was worth it to proclaim to them my supremacy, while also offering good health advice.

Perhaps I'm too competitive?