Could it be? Could it be that my Hurculean effort in exposing the flaws with the Manly Man Candle Company caused them to take a corporate shift and DO what they SAY they do, all within 24 hours of my blog posting?
Naturally, I'll claim any positive influence in the world that I can....
However, what I've learned is that the folks over at Manly Man Candle Company don't know good internet marketing, nor how to take advantage of being a hot news item.
Today YAHOO posted a similar story to the ABC News piece I quoted yesterday. What I've learned after seeing the YAHOO story, and doing some additional research online, is that manlymancandlecompany.com (the site I spoke disparagingly of in my post yesterday for not fulfilling its promise) is the original company site, while the site that is getting all of the publicity is buymandles.com.
Having spent the last 4 years in the internet marketing space (yes... that's my day job), let me explain to you how simple it would have been for Manly Man Candle Company to take advantage of their recent publicity. All they would have had to do is create (hold onto your thinking caps now...) something called a redirect which would automatically cause anyone who finds the manlymancandlecompany site to land on the buymandles site, without even seeing the outdated site. Genius? Or "Gee... where do I want people to land? Ah HA! How about the place they can BUY the stuff that's being talked about in the news?"
The good news is that the great promise I spoke of in my post of yesterday seems to have been fulfilled on the buymandles site, with the company selling fine scents like Chuck Norris Sweat, Peel Out, Bait Shop, Hardware Store, Grillin' Out, Bowling Alley, and Urinal Deodorizer.
Now you know where to go for your early online Christmas shopping!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Smell it like it is... Manly Candles?
ABC News recently reported on a new aroma therapy product called Mandles. (Okay, I confess... they didn't call it 'aroma therapy' but they did say women have plenty of options when selecting candles to burn while taking a nice, relaxing bath....) Now, apparently MEN have some masculine options when the urge comes to, uh... light up a candle and relax in the bath?
Well, whatever their use, apparently new options now exist for those of us with 'outdoor plumbing.' Try as you may, you won't get me to admit to hunkering down in the tub and lighting up the relaxing scent Wet Dog to finish off a stressful day. But according to ABC News reports, smells like Hardware Store, Wet Dog, and Musty Locker Room are now available through a company called Manly Man Candles.
Being the highly paid investigative reporter that I am, I felt it my duty to research this further. After all, you can't believe everything you see on the news, can you? How much of what was reported was a fantastic exaggeration, and how much of it credible news story? Well... read on, my friend, read on.
My first investigative thoughts were to go to the Small Business Association to validate the company (I figured this company couldn't be huge... not yet anyway). But then I realized I don't think there is any such organization officially called the Small Business Association... so that was a foiled, imperfect thought. A trip to the library yielded nothing but sore thumbs while opening and shutting card catalogue drawers for an hour. Okay... I admit. I didn't do any of those things. I googled them, and Google bragged that the results were returned in 0.17 seconds. (So much for billing by the hour for my investigative research.)
To my dismay, Manly Man Candle Company - at least on their very own web site (which one would assume is an authoritative source)- did not offer ANY of the 3 scents mentioned in the news story. No Wet Dog, no Hardware Store or Musty Locker Room. And further disappointing to me, here are some of the scents they do offer for purchase on their site: Irish Springtime, Cedar Forest, Alpine, and Pina Colada. Shocking, ground-breaking, manly scents? This, to me, was like walking into a gag gifts and novelty store and finding things like fully functional toilet paper, light bulbs that work, good tasting chewing gum.
That's not to say that they didn't have some of what makes up their creative, unique promise, to those of us looking for a shining light in the dingy world of creative gifts. They do offer a scent called Yardwork, which purportedly smells like fresh cut grass. But it seems like rather than creating suspect or questionable odors (that's what we're really looking for here, is it not?) that what they've done is attach a few creative names to otherwise pleasant smells. Grandma's Cooking (hmmm. smells like fresh baked apple pie), Clean Laundry (smells like fresh cleaned laundry), Coffee Shop, their most popular candle to date - smells like coffee. Lots of people like the smell of coffee.
If and when they do ever offer Wet Dog, Hardware Store, and Musty Locker Room I think they may be on to something. Otherwise, they're simply another candle store looking to peddle the common scents.
Well, whatever their use, apparently new options now exist for those of us with 'outdoor plumbing.' Try as you may, you won't get me to admit to hunkering down in the tub and lighting up the relaxing scent Wet Dog to finish off a stressful day. But according to ABC News reports, smells like Hardware Store, Wet Dog, and Musty Locker Room are now available through a company called Manly Man Candles.
Being the highly paid investigative reporter that I am, I felt it my duty to research this further. After all, you can't believe everything you see on the news, can you? How much of what was reported was a fantastic exaggeration, and how much of it credible news story? Well... read on, my friend, read on.
My first investigative thoughts were to go to the Small Business Association to validate the company (I figured this company couldn't be huge... not yet anyway). But then I realized I don't think there is any such organization officially called the Small Business Association... so that was a foiled, imperfect thought. A trip to the library yielded nothing but sore thumbs while opening and shutting card catalogue drawers for an hour. Okay... I admit. I didn't do any of those things. I googled them, and Google bragged that the results were returned in 0.17 seconds. (So much for billing by the hour for my investigative research.)
To my dismay, Manly Man Candle Company - at least on their very own web site (which one would assume is an authoritative source)- did not offer ANY of the 3 scents mentioned in the news story. No Wet Dog, no Hardware Store or Musty Locker Room. And further disappointing to me, here are some of the scents they do offer for purchase on their site: Irish Springtime, Cedar Forest, Alpine, and Pina Colada. Shocking, ground-breaking, manly scents? This, to me, was like walking into a gag gifts and novelty store and finding things like fully functional toilet paper, light bulbs that work, good tasting chewing gum.
That's not to say that they didn't have some of what makes up their creative, unique promise, to those of us looking for a shining light in the dingy world of creative gifts. They do offer a scent called Yardwork, which purportedly smells like fresh cut grass. But it seems like rather than creating suspect or questionable odors (that's what we're really looking for here, is it not?) that what they've done is attach a few creative names to otherwise pleasant smells. Grandma's Cooking (hmmm. smells like fresh baked apple pie), Clean Laundry (smells like fresh cleaned laundry), Coffee Shop, their most popular candle to date - smells like coffee. Lots of people like the smell of coffee.
If and when they do ever offer Wet Dog, Hardware Store, and Musty Locker Room I think they may be on to something. Otherwise, they're simply another candle store looking to peddle the common scents.
Friday, July 25, 2008
You want to laugh? Brush your teeth....
If you are like me, and are always chasing a good chuckle, I highly recommend brushing your teeth. But there is a catch. You have to brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand (in case you don't know what that is, I'll phrase it another way-- use the hand you don't normally use, Einstein).
A few problems will become immediately apparent: 1) laughing while brushing your teeth is much better at serving the laugh than the brushing; 2) the simple routine of teeth brushing, programmed into your schema for years and years, was disconnected for your 'off' hand. You may not know where to begin.
Naturally, this challenge got me to thinking what else I might try with my non-dominant hand and have a number of other things to put on my list.
When I'm feeling dare-devil-ish, I may try shaving with my Gillette Fusion! Five blades! All poorly controlled on my face and head! Sounds great! (I'm a Mr. Clean type, so shave my head as well, but may risk a new name - Nick -- if I do that). Perhaps someone who reads this blog could try it first and let me know how it goes... Then again, I wouldn't want to be responsible for what may happen.
Also challenging, for those of you like me who wear contact lenses, guide those thin plastic 20/20 providers very carefully... You could shoot your eye out, son....
Spend a week waving to everyone with your 'off' hand. Focus... Focus... you will undoubtedly forget. It doesn't look or feel that strange, but it's sort of a battle of wills with yourself. Who will win?
Sign your name for a week with the forgotten hand. Even though the signature will look horrible for the first 6 days, you'll still be able to cash checks (I think.... Don't come running to me for reimbursement when your birthday check from Aunt Lucinda is not honored due to attempted forging on your part.)
Unlock all doors with your 'off' hand. Once you do this, you'll have some mad skilz! (Less impressive is those of you with keyless entry to your post 1990 autos claiming victory on this one. Just because you are rich and don't use keys, use the metal and try seeing the world like us po' folk for once... sheesh!)
In sum... this costs virtually nothing to do, and is seriously quite funny. Let me know what laughter successes you have with this theme!
A few problems will become immediately apparent: 1) laughing while brushing your teeth is much better at serving the laugh than the brushing; 2) the simple routine of teeth brushing, programmed into your schema for years and years, was disconnected for your 'off' hand. You may not know where to begin.
Naturally, this challenge got me to thinking what else I might try with my non-dominant hand and have a number of other things to put on my list.
When I'm feeling dare-devil-ish, I may try shaving with my Gillette Fusion! Five blades! All poorly controlled on my face and head! Sounds great! (I'm a Mr. Clean type, so shave my head as well, but may risk a new name - Nick -- if I do that). Perhaps someone who reads this blog could try it first and let me know how it goes... Then again, I wouldn't want to be responsible for what may happen.
Also challenging, for those of you like me who wear contact lenses, guide those thin plastic 20/20 providers very carefully... You could shoot your eye out, son....
Spend a week waving to everyone with your 'off' hand. Focus... Focus... you will undoubtedly forget. It doesn't look or feel that strange, but it's sort of a battle of wills with yourself. Who will win?
Sign your name for a week with the forgotten hand. Even though the signature will look horrible for the first 6 days, you'll still be able to cash checks (I think.... Don't come running to me for reimbursement when your birthday check from Aunt Lucinda is not honored due to attempted forging on your part.)
Unlock all doors with your 'off' hand. Once you do this, you'll have some mad skilz! (Less impressive is those of you with keyless entry to your post 1990 autos claiming victory on this one. Just because you are rich and don't use keys, use the metal and try seeing the world like us po' folk for once... sheesh!)
In sum... this costs virtually nothing to do, and is seriously quite funny. Let me know what laughter successes you have with this theme!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Judge rules girl's name unfit? Parents naming a band, perhaps...
News reports today disclosed that a judge in New Zealand took custody of a child involved in a heated child custody battle. As part of this action the judge changed this girl's name to something that was less problematic than 'Talula Does The Hula'. The judge ruled that this name unneccessarily handicaps the child from a social standpoint. While this name, if used in its entirety, all of the time, does raise some eyebrows, it would seem that Talula (trucated properly) is a nice name. 'Does The Hula' would be a super cool thing to pull out at a college sorority soiree. While the name the judge assigned to the girl was not disclosed, my hope is that the judge would have simply 'officially' truncated the name to Talula -- leaving the parents of the child at least some influence in the name of their offspring-- as lacking in common sense as they may be.
However poor this name may have been, I can tell that these parents may be serious contenders in the "Let's Make Band Names" contests that rear their creative head in various light minded discussions at frat houses, bars, and with the back row crowd during church sermons weekly. IF I had ever been part of any of these group discussions, here are some names which may have competed for top honors (I only ask a nominal fee if any of my names are co-opted):
Tulula Does The Hula (no... wait... that's the name of the girl in the story... nevermind) However, I guarantee I'd go see them in concert.
Croonchy Stars, Blue Diamonds
I like this one because it brings back fond memories of Saturday morning cartoon watching, and the constant barrage of mesmerising cereal commericals.
The Waverly Willies
I have a cousin who tells me that, "good band names always include the word 'The'" so to his point, I think this name is as good as any. Perhaps a Ska band will take this one on. I think they should focus on eerie ska tunes. Being Ska, their essence will of course be light and bouncy.
Roadrash
Naturally, a band who would appeal to many spandex clad road bikers.
Red Light Runner
This name is befitting a heavy metal or speed metal band. Risking it all. Always on the edge. Ready to take flight into the eternities by any superfluous, ill thought out action. Cool. If you like this kind of music, you'll like Red Light Runner.
The The The (pronouced The THE The)
See 'The Waverly Willies'
Guttin' Trout
Takes a slight turn from the typical Let's Name Bands discussion, which include almost exclusively 'Rock' or 'Pop' bands, and allows folks in the country music genre to join the game. However, it almost sounds a little bit Germanic if said quickly, which would not sell well in Europe, as the Germanic country music segment, very narrow to start with, has been on the down turn of late.
As you may know, this game has no end. New names bubble up every day. It's a great way to pass the time and keep the ole noggin' churning. I'm just not sure we should use or pull out this skill when naming our children. However, before we judge the parents of Talula to be completely off their rocker, I think we should see if their naming was a 'One Hit Wonder' or if any of their other children have been creatively named as well. I guess this begs the question "were they smart enough to reproduce again?" Not sure. There is no mention of other offspring. No Get Me a Fork Pleases or Ouch That Hurtses.
However poor this name may have been, I can tell that these parents may be serious contenders in the "Let's Make Band Names" contests that rear their creative head in various light minded discussions at frat houses, bars, and with the back row crowd during church sermons weekly. IF I had ever been part of any of these group discussions, here are some names which may have competed for top honors (I only ask a nominal fee if any of my names are co-opted):
Tulula Does The Hula (no... wait... that's the name of the girl in the story... nevermind) However, I guarantee I'd go see them in concert.
Croonchy Stars, Blue Diamonds
I like this one because it brings back fond memories of Saturday morning cartoon watching, and the constant barrage of mesmerising cereal commericals.
The Waverly Willies
I have a cousin who tells me that, "good band names always include the word 'The'" so to his point, I think this name is as good as any. Perhaps a Ska band will take this one on. I think they should focus on eerie ska tunes. Being Ska, their essence will of course be light and bouncy.
Roadrash
Naturally, a band who would appeal to many spandex clad road bikers.
Red Light Runner
This name is befitting a heavy metal or speed metal band. Risking it all. Always on the edge. Ready to take flight into the eternities by any superfluous, ill thought out action. Cool. If you like this kind of music, you'll like Red Light Runner.
The The The (pronouced The THE The)
See 'The Waverly Willies'
Guttin' Trout
Takes a slight turn from the typical Let's Name Bands discussion, which include almost exclusively 'Rock' or 'Pop' bands, and allows folks in the country music genre to join the game. However, it almost sounds a little bit Germanic if said quickly, which would not sell well in Europe, as the Germanic country music segment, very narrow to start with, has been on the down turn of late.
As you may know, this game has no end. New names bubble up every day. It's a great way to pass the time and keep the ole noggin' churning. I'm just not sure we should use or pull out this skill when naming our children. However, before we judge the parents of Talula to be completely off their rocker, I think we should see if their naming was a 'One Hit Wonder' or if any of their other children have been creatively named as well. I guess this begs the question "were they smart enough to reproduce again?" Not sure. There is no mention of other offspring. No Get Me a Fork Pleases or Ouch That Hurtses.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Ha! Or put differently.... Ha ha!
Postings here will be left to your imagination as to their truth. Some are unequivocally true, while others are utterly non-sense, while still others are mixtures of fact and fiction -- in all cases humor, or at least the DNA of humor, will be present in each posting. Enjoy!
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