Judge rules girl's name unfit? Parents naming a band, perhaps...

News reports today disclosed that a judge in New Zealand took custody of a child involved in a heated child custody battle. As part of this action the judge changed this girl's name to something that was less problematic than 'Talula Does The Hula'. The judge ruled that this name unneccessarily handicaps the child from a social standpoint. While this name, if used in its entirety, all of the time, does raise some eyebrows, it would seem that Talula (trucated properly) is a nice name. 'Does The Hula' would be a super cool thing to pull out at a college sorority soiree. While the name the judge assigned to the girl was not disclosed, my hope is that the judge would have simply 'officially' truncated the name to Talula -- leaving the parents of the child at least some influence in the name of their offspring-- as lacking in common sense as they may be.

However poor this name may have been, I can tell that these parents may be serious contenders in the "Let's Make Band Names" contests that rear their creative head in various light minded discussions at frat houses, bars, and with the back row crowd during church sermons weekly. IF I had ever been part of any of these group discussions, here are some names which may have competed for top honors (I only ask a nominal fee if any of my names are co-opted):

Tulula Does The Hula (no... wait... that's the name of the girl in the story... nevermind) However, I guarantee I'd go see them in concert.

Croonchy Stars, Blue Diamonds
I like this one because it brings back fond memories of Saturday morning cartoon watching, and the constant barrage of mesmerising cereal commericals.

The Waverly Willies
I have a cousin who tells me that, "good band names always include the word 'The'" so to his point, I think this name is as good as any. Perhaps a Ska band will take this one on. I think they should focus on eerie ska tunes. Being Ska, their essence will of course be light and bouncy.

Roadrash
Naturally, a band who would appeal to many spandex clad road bikers.

Red Light Runner
This name is befitting a heavy metal or speed metal band. Risking it all. Always on the edge. Ready to take flight into the eternities by any superfluous, ill thought out action. Cool. If you like this kind of music, you'll like Red Light Runner.

The The The (pronouced The THE The)
See 'The Waverly Willies'

Guttin' Trout
Takes a slight turn from the typical Let's Name Bands discussion, which include almost exclusively 'Rock' or 'Pop' bands, and allows folks in the country music genre to join the game. However, it almost sounds a little bit Germanic if said quickly, which would not sell well in Europe, as the Germanic country music segment, very narrow to start with, has been on the down turn of late.

As you may know, this game has no end. New names bubble up every day. It's a great way to pass the time and keep the ole noggin' churning. I'm just not sure we should use or pull out this skill when naming our children. However, before we judge the parents of Talula to be completely off their rocker, I think we should see if their naming was a 'One Hit Wonder' or if any of their other children have been creatively named as well. I guess this begs the question "were they smart enough to reproduce again?" Not sure. There is no mention of other offspring. No Get Me a Fork Pleases or Ouch That Hurtses.